Siraj’s Yorker, England’s Heartbreak, and Woakes in a Sling: The Oval Finale That Broke the Internet (and Some English Dreams)
📝 by Lakshmi Narayan V for comically.in
“Test cricket is dead,” they said. Then Siraj bowled a yorker so evil it should be banned by Geneva Convention, and England forgot which sport they were playing.
Ladies and gentlemen, gather around. Put down your oat milk lattes and pick up your metaphorical helmets—because the final day of the India vs England 5th Test at The Oval was not just cricket. It was Shakespeare. It was reality TV. It was gladiator combat with red balls and white kits.
And in the end, Mohammed Siraj—yes, the same guy who once bowled on the streets of Hyderabad—unleashed a toe-crushing yorker that snatched victory from the very jaws of “Bazball”. England needed 20. They collapsed like a budget airline website on sale day.
💔 England: Bravery, Blunders, and a One-Armed Woakes
Let’s start with Chris Woakes, the poor man’s Ben Stokes, who walked out with a dislocated shoulder, ready to die for the Queen (except, you know, it’s the King now). He padded up like a brave knight. He never faced a ball. Legend.
Meanwhile, England’s “Plan B” seemed to be: “Let’s hit everything and hope it goes somewhere useful.” Bazball, at its chaotic best, turned into Sadball real quick.
Jacob Bethell? Caught in a net session fantasy. Jamie Smith? Blinked, gone. And Harry Brook—who played like a combination of Joe Root and a golden retriever chasing tennis balls—just couldn’t finish the job.
🔥 India: Grit, Siraj, and Spine
India, on the other hand, did what they haven’t done in decades—won a series decider on English soil under pressure. And they did it not with superstar flair, but with good old desi jugaar: a bowler with a point to prove, and a captain who backed him till the last over.
Siraj was all fire and facial hair, steaming in like a man possessed. Nine wickets across the match. His final spell? Part crime scene, part art installation.
📰 British Media: Grieving, Grumbling, and Glorious Puns
The British press went full Shakespeare-meets-Therapy-Session.
- “England threw it away,” lamented the Telegraph, like a mother who saw her kid drop an iPhone in the loo.
- The Times compared the series to the 2005 Ashes. Because nostalgia always softens heartbreak.
- Even Michael Vaughan (yes, that guy) admitted England panicked. That’s like a dog admitting it ate your homework.
🍿 Comically Speaking…
Test cricket, my friends, is not dead. It’s just occasionally asleep and then wakes up screaming.
This series? It had everything. Reverse swings and reverse sweeps. Collars turned up and tempers turned down. And on the final day, a single delivery—Siraj’s molten-hot yorker—reminded everyone why this format still rules the roost.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to watch replays of Woakes walking in with a sling like he’s about to arm wrestle Zeus.
📣 Got a favourite moment from the final Test? Drop it in the comments. Unless you’re English. Then… maybe wait a week.
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