The Non-Abelian Adventures of Team CSystems

Or, how symmetry, inequality, and a Romanian ghost taught us to write better copy.

At CSystems, the marketing team isn’t a team.
It’s a non-abelian ensemble loosely held together by a Teams Calendar, caffeine, and a belief that someone else will eventually do the deck and do it better than me.

We don’t commute. We teleport, across time zones and temperaments. We don’t meet. We collide, like subatomic particles with deliverables.

And that’s how the best copy gets written: by a group that doesn’t agree on anything except whose turn it is to pretend to be enthusiastic.

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Alpha (Los Angeles): shoots Veo videos like they’re Cannes entries. Her Zoom background is always tastefully blurred, like her relationship with deadlines. She says “audience journey” like it’s a spiritual pilgrimage. Wears pride like highlighter—visible, intentional, reflective.
Omega (Pune): the calm Team Lead and SPOC (Single Point of Contact, Source of Patience, Sage of Peace). Speaks in calm clauses. Believes every problem is solvable. Even client feedback that reads like a mood swing.
Zeta (Singapore): young, articulate, and a mother of two boys who once painted her MacBook with peanut butter. She’s precise to the point of being surgical. Yaps like a well-trained AI—fast, useful, and slightly unnerving.
Theta (Accra): speaks like Rafiki if Rafiki were trained by Steven Pinker. Slow, profound, unnervingly clear. Often begins a sentence with, “Children of Product,” and ends with “…and that is why we must never trust a CTA that says Learn More.”
Sigma (Romania): Ghost. Enigma. Chain smoker. She disappears for weeks and returns with a treasure: a tagline, a pitch deck, a fully developed GTM strategy coded in Latin. May or may not live in a castle. Smarter than all of us, and knows it.

THE INCIDENT: Symmetry, Inequality, and Other Scary Words

It all started when CSystems launched a new product called SymmetriQ—an AI platform for scalable design symmetry in front-end systems.

The brief was simple:

“Make it sound friendly. Not mathematical. But smart. And emotional. But cool.”

Zeta said, “Should we define symmetry?”
Alpha rolled her eyes. “If you define it, it’s no longer aspirational.”

Omega, ever the diplomat, offered:

“Let’s treat symmetry as a metaphor. Not as a math function. Think elegance. Harmony. Brand alignment.”

Theta leaned in, camera slightly tilted, and uttered:

“Symmetry… is the child of memory and intention. It is not when left equals right… it is when the story returns to itself.”

Silence.

Slack lit up.
Alpha: “Quote that. Like everywhere.”
Zeta: “That’s so symmetric of you, Theta.”
Sigma: 🧛‍♀️ (emoji only)

ABELIAN VS NON-ABELIAN: The Team Itself

It was during the brainstorming call that the true nature of their dysfunction emerged.

Alpha had storyboarded a video ad in reverse, beginning with the CTA and ending in a cosmic visual of “digital rebirth.”

Zeta had written a 3-minute landing page that read like a police confession.

Omega tried to merge both in Figma.

“This is what happens,” Omega sighed, “when a team is non-abelian. The order matters. Alpha before Zeta? Chaos. Zeta before Alpha? Chaos, but productive.”

Theta, calmly slicing a mango on camera, nodded:

“Yes. This team is not commutative. We are not addable in any order. We are a jazz band. Or a family argument.”

Sigma, who hadn’t spoken in days, suddenly dropped a file into Slack.
Tagline.docx
Three words: Symmetry with Soul.

Alpha gasped. Zeta approved. Theta whispered, “As it is written…”
Omega just pinned it.

That’s when Sigma typed:

“You’re welcome. Going offline for two days. Need to smoke and read Gödel.”

PALINDROMES, INEQUALITY, AND THE POST THAT WROTE ITSELF

The final copy was a masterpiece of techno-emotional nonsense.

“Design that remembers its beginning.”
“Build systems where code and intention mirror each other.”
“Symmetry isn’t balance. It’s a callback.”

Zeta added a disclaimer: “No math involved in using this product.”

Alpha overlaid it on b-roll of rotating UX wireframes.

Theta did a voiceover in three languages, none of them his native tongue.

Sigma approved it with a vampire emoji and went back to smoking.

THE TAKEAWAY

If you’re scared of words like:

Abelian: Just means order doesn’t matter. Like brushing teeth before showering.
Non-Abelian: Order does matter. Like putting on socks after shoes? Bad idea.
Symmetry: Not just left equals right. It’s when a story echoes itself without being repetitive.
Palindrome: Like “madam” or “taco cat.” Also how client briefs read: “We want something unique that everyone else is doing.”
Inequality: Sometimes Zeta writes 40 lines, Alpha writes 4, and Alpha gets the raise. That’s real-world math, baby.

CLOSING THOUGHT

Team Pentagon at CSystems doesn’t always understand each other.
But we understand the system.

One where chaos is engineered, order is performative, and the smartest person in the room is always slightly out of network range.

Next Week:

Zeta explains entropy using her toddler’s toy box.
Theta critiques landing pages using African proverbs.
Sigma smokes through a funnel report.

Until then…
May your marketing be symmetric.
May your team be gloriously non-abelian.

Start writing. Start music. Awooooo…

comically